weedjoke420:

british person: wot is ur fauvourouriute coulourur? x
me: chill

(via cutesy-novelli)

bringforth-thehorizon:

People who put their hands up on roller coasters have way to much trust

(via bringforth-thehorizon)

kingloptr:

literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

holy fuck

(Source: itssexualhour, via txme-bomb)

2spooky4boo:

Restroom air dryers are a great way to warm your hands before wiping them on your jeans

(Source: sir-broccoli, via txme-bomb)

queerios-and-milk:

I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing. 

(via txme-bomb)